I felt bad so I gave them a discount
Often if I see posts saying “I felt bad for a client due to [whatever circumstance]” it’s followed by a “so I gave them discount.” While we can and should incorporate sympathy (feeling with someone) and empathy (feeling for someone) in our business dealings, pity can lead us down a road where we apologize to others via a discount and end up compromising our business success to make up for the mistakes of others.
Adults weather all sorts of realities based out of our own adulting decisions that don’t (and nor should they) require businesses to tell us sorry with discounts. Especially where you aren’t the one who should be sorry! A photographer cancelled last minute on client - why should that prompt a discount from you? Bad experience when they decided all on their own to go cheap and get crappy photos and need a redo? Again, why would that require a discount from you?
We need to stop taking responsibility for the actions of others, for the feelings of others, where it was not our responsibility to take. We need to take responsibility for our actions, and those actions build our reputation, credibility and business success. It has to stem from wanting to serve people as best we can, without overreaching and apologizing (through discounts) because of circumstances completely unrelated from us.
An example may be going to a restaurant and telling them you had poor service or meal at the resto down the street last week. Or that you arrived at the spot down the street and your reservation wasn’t properly taken and they turned you away so you’re at this place now. In either of these cases would anyone expect this restaurant to discount their price because of what happened? Unlikely. But they may serve you their delicious food and give their impeccable service. They will do what they do best but they do not have to make up for something that happened to you before you ever walked through their door. And perhaps they will be sympathetic and give you a premium table which doesn’t cost them a thing, but an unaccounted discount can actually hurt them in an industry that already has slim profit margins (not unlike ours).
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We can and should be sympathetic and empathetic to the needs of others, but without overstepping boundaries to fix problems that aren’t ours.
These “apologies” through discounts can really eat into our bottom line and if you do this you have to ask why you feeling bad for someone needs to be followed by a deal of some sort on your part. Could there be another way?
For the last minute cancellation by another photographer, you are still paid in full and that helps drive you to do your best work for them, give them a gift or a valued experience that uplifts them, that restores their faith in people and doesn’t cause you to lose money?
Could you offer the redo for the crappy photos at your proper price and then be able to afford to add some prints or a half-price session fee for a 2nd booking (this would be a loyalty discount to trigger repeat business rather than a discount because of someone else’s poor job before you).
In no way shape or form would it be considered that you gouged or benefitted from someone else’s misfortune, to charge your standard price and the price you’ve established that provides for your family. Please don’t misunderstand this. If a bride was stood up by a photographer a few weeks or days before a wedding, it’s a terrible situation for sure. You aren’t charging her double, or playing up that she now needs to pay up to have someone show at her wedding to pressure her. First off, you don’t know what circumstances truly unfolded. But in the end, it matters not. You can express how you’d love to help, and that you cannot imagine the stress this bride must be under, but there is nothing in this exchange that indicates you should then - especially at the last minute for you - put in all the work required to prepare and work a12 hour wedding for less. Your work hasn’t lessened because of this situation.
Terrible things happen. Terrible things happen to good people who don’t deserve them. We can choose to personally help people who’ve had terrible things happen - donations to charities, to gofundme causes, doing a good deed, adding value at low or no cost. But compromising your business out of pity can lead you down a road where because you’re discounting for every terrible thing that has happened to others, that now you’re in a terrible financial place!
Per this article in Psychology Today, “Pity expresses a negative evaluation of the bad situation of others.” We want to operate in a positive environment rather than a negative one, especially if you believe that with our actions, we heighten our collective positive energy. The article goes on to say “Pity is improper if we have the power to alleviate suffering.” Through our business, we have the power to improve the terrible situations that led these clients to us. Thus, we are solving the bad situation. Nowhere does it say that we must also suffer by lowering our prices, in order to do this.
Run your business with heart always, but within healthy boundaries both emotionally and financially. Have you done this in the past? Share your thought and experiences in the comments!
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