We must always be the mindful curators of our actions.

I see so many posts seeking advice about how to handle difficult clients or situations. The rub? The photographer states they gave a discount, allowed an exception, or didn’t enforce a policy such as their documented payment schedule. People pleasing is real, and so are high levels of fear and doubt, and the photographer tends to bend to satisfy clients for 2 main reasons:

Money in the door.

Especially when we are starting, but really anytime in our journey, we want to succeed at the dream we’ve embarked upon. When we’ve made the jump and decided to become a photographer, we have a lot riding on that, and we really need (disproportionately so) the validation of others. How do we find it? When people pay us (even if it’s $20) and other things such as social media likes or feedback. If you are in this boat you will often suffer when people aren’t liking what you’re posting, or when you don’t hear anything back from clients after you’ve delivered their gallery.

To build a portfolio and create content

We need people in front of our camera in order to build a body of work. We can become pretty desperate here, photographing anyone and anything, even if it’s not a perfect match to our end goal or vision, because we need something to put on the website and socials. Empty pages don’t get us anywhere and we’ll take what we can get because there is at least something there.

This people-pleasing-to-build-a-business is very understandable, but it prioritizes everyone else but us, even though we are the ones building the business. It’s an unbalanced approach, and you know that here at ShineSparkL I don’t believe in balance because it’s a struggle, but in stability. When things are out of balance, the struggle to regain balance means compromises. We don’t want to lose anyone waving even a tiny amount of money at us and we want content. And one benefit - you are actually doing something! You need a big pat on the back for that (many won’t even start acting upon their dreams and they remain dreams) but we must be aware of pitfalls - that the actions underpinned by people-pleasing may take us way off course.

The “I’ll just fix it in Photoshop” can apply to business as well. We believe that we will compromise on a situation today - for the money or the content - and then fix it later. We’ll up prices when we get better. We’ll update the portfolio at some point. Lead mostly by fear and doubt, we overestimate how much runway we have for correction. We should still start if it’s not perfect, but we must also understand when our actions aren’t serving the ultimate goal and we are hiding the truth from ourselves.

Own every decision

Every single action we take is a message. Every action (allowing something is an action!) is a statement of our business. What images we choose for our website and marketing sets the tone for our signature style and brand impact. The messages we write. What we communicate (or don't communicate) to clients. What we allow; what we stand firm on.

You are the maker of your universe. In this case your universe is your life and your business. But many of our actions threaten or sabotage the business due to fear and doubt. Every time we don't (nicely) ask for payment on the deadline, we tell the client that this business doesn't respect its own payment deadline. When we allow something that we stated we don't do in our contract, we tell the client that the contract is up for negotiation.

We cannot correct the issues that plague us until we correct ourselves, because we make our universe. Do something today and you will see it somehow tomorrow. Ask yourself with every action - what will this look like tomorrow?

Fear and doubt don’t just create an innocent flutter in our belly when we think of uncomfortable things. They are elements that can create real and lasting negative ripple effects. Use them as fuel to motivate yourself, but don't allow their toxicity to lead how you run your business. When we allow fear and doubt to make the decisions, we jeopardize everything we work towards.

Sit for a moment and truly imagine the business and clients of your dreams. Let's say it's a client that easily booked and paid on time, had a perfect space to shoot in, was kind and easygoing, left you a shining testimonial. Work that scenario back to today. What are you doing today to cause that future? If you're waffling on asking someone for a payment, it can break that future dream. If you're discounting, it can break that future dream. If you agreed to a model call where the model wants to wear their own outfit or choose a different location, it can break that future dream.

Keep a watchful eye on your thoughts

We often think we must do things - like discount to get clients because we don't feel good enough. Catch yourself on the faulty thinking that discounting today creates a landscape of future higher paying clients because it usually doesn't. If you feel this is the only way and you’re pushing the problem down the line, know that there is a better way. Learn marketing. Through this blog or though my services, know that there is an alternate way.

Your dream is important. It is probably the most significant thing in your life right now to be a successful and thriving photographer who loves what they do every day. Write that down - on a blackboard, whiteboard, paper, it doesn’t matter. Reference it every time you come to a crossroads of needing to take an action and hold your dream in mind when you make your decision. Gather the courage to protect that dream, because when you succeed it means your clients to too. There will be bumps and if we prevent fear and doubt from derailing us, we can get there. We may ultimately fear saying no in our business, but at least a no is final and done. It’s the yes that lingers with negative effect -guilt that we caved, that we compromised the dream, and then have a difficult client or situation to deal with on top.