Intuition Pillar: Thoughts from Lucy's Journal: Entry 1
Image by: @jessbaileydesigns
I follow Julia Cameron’s morning pages concept and have been journalling for many years now. I have filled countless notebooks from cover to cover, and it’s an activity that I anchor my every day on. If a day goes by where I miss journalling — happens sometimes — it bugs me a little to be honest. But I do recognize that life happens and I try to give myself some grace too.
Journalling has become a great friend to me. I do this creative activity first before I consume anyone else’s creativity anywhere else. This follows an idea I heard from Marie Forleo where she said “create before you consume.” You can search this blog for other posts related to my journalling, as I use it for so many things: a morning outlet, to process ideas, to tap into my intuition, to pray, to vent and to get inspired. I have gotten to know myself a lot better as it’s also a self-reflection tool. It’s also wonderful to carve that quiet time out for myself. I snuggle into a comfy spot with a coffee and spend time with a person who is important to me: me! In my opinion, and especially as a woman and mother, I’m available to everyone else at the drop of a hat. Journalling was a way to make myself a priority, and it is something I now protect fiercely.
A little while ago, I had this thought that I would publish excerpts from my journal on this blog. One of the brand values that I discovered when I rebranded to ShineSparkL was radical vulnerability. I have a tendency to stay guarded in my life and it hasn’t always served me. In re-branding, I felt it was something that had been missing from MBP (Marketing & Business for Photographers) that I wanted to bring into this new brand. I have been able to get more vulnerable with my own self through journalling, and I felt that sharing unedited and true passages from my journal may help others. Especially those who suffer from impostor syndrome and think everyone else has it together. We all do, and we all don’t, is what I am finding. We all have the potential to reach our dreams, and we all don’t always believe in the idea. When we share our trials and tribulations, we find common ground for empathy: for others but mainly for ourselves. This is my hope.
This is new for me. I don’t put dates in my journal, so pulling out something random. I might find a “format” if this proves to be popular or valuable and a mainstay in my blog, but for now, it’s just sharing what I’ve written. I hope it resonates and maybe helps you in your journey.
Lucy’s Journal entry (#1)
…Dreaming is a gateway to to actually leaving our body. It’s a brain state but not a thinking brain. Not all of it anyways. Part thinking: it processes stuff from our real world, and part intuition: that vast place we really know nothing about but is our source.
Carl Jung describes this - the directed and undirected brain. The undirected is the intuitive and directed is what thinks critically. Then I guess what another is, is the useless brain. Not given a task through the direct brain and not tapping into indirect. Idle. Idle seems to turn negative for most of us. It takes a lot of effort to change that - seems the default state for most. If there are 2 options, our idle brain will pick the negative option as the most likely. Why? I don’t know. Why are we so prone to the negative? Most of us that pick up a camera know or have some inkling that we’re good at it; why can’t we admit? A cascade of surrounding messages - we aren’t humble, we brag. What is that? To voice that we are good at something and we actually are and that’s negative somehow? But if someone else points it out, it’s a-ok? So odd. And kind of ridiculous. Maybe that’s why Alice Cooper talks about himself in the third person; because it’s more acceptable? I am good at what I do. I will always have room for improvement; that’s why I educate myself, but I am good. I know what I’m doing; good enough to teach others too. Why should I apologize for that in any way? Isn’t that what we are meant to do - find our calling? Then when we do find it, we have to stay quiet or other humans will judge us? Seems people like athletes, celebrities and entrepreneurs may be able to transcend these ideas. And how? By becoming successful, which is ironic. They have to overcome any negative thought or judgement to succeed, and only once they do, can they own their success.
When we are young, we don’t have that. Somewhere out there, there is a video floating around that has a roomful of kids who are asked “Are you good at x?” All of them raise their hands, no matter what “x” actually is! Then a roomful of adults and no one raises their hand. Somehow, a learned societal context annihilates our confidence. All small kids want to do it, can do it, and all want to be picked. They want to show off and they even make it up as they go and don’t care. And then come the teen years when it all changes, and then we try to re-educate about self esteem etc. The brain loses the childlike qualities in so many if not most of us and then it’s a constant battle. Can we regain or reclaim those things? Seems like you have to hit 50 or so; if you weren’t one of the lucky ones to do it earlier. Maybe we have to reach milestones that we aren’t even aware of, to transform our thoughts. I’m finally realizing how some of my thoughts and beliefs haven’t served me and in fact hold me back. I don’t want that anymore. I’m good at the things I’m good at, because if I wasn’t good then I wouldn’t have the results or responses I have. There are things I don’t do and that’s because I don’t know them, they aren’t for me yet, or they aren’t for me ever.
Our minds are powerful and wasted if left idle with a tendency to skew negative. So I must “mind my mind” as hard as I might mind my diet or my sleep or take time with my family. Our minds are often ignored completely because we think it’s just us and that’s the way it is. But it’s not. So hard to grasp but true. I control my mind and my thoughts which means I’m not my mind or thoughts. Part of me like a limb. Getting into Ekhart Tolle territory here!
I hope you’ve enjoyed peeking into my mind. Not all my journalling is this philosophical but it certainly turns that direction at times! Stay tuned to follow the stream of thought.
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